un arc en ciel dans le lavabo

27, again

in France you would hear a lot people going to picnic carelessly say : let's get some baguette & ham and we'll grab some cakes for dessert on the way...
that doesn't happen in our house. never. or, not anymore.
some can't eat any French baguette (the most common bread here) because it contains white flour, some can't because it contains gluten, some won't eat ham because it is meat, some won't it because it is pork, one of us won't eat any cake because she will be sick, another one won't because it contains sugar.
let's switch to tabbouleh then... another popular idea here for a picnic... nope because it is again, well, wheat... how about quinoa then ? nope because it is too high in carbs and not recommended for diabetics.
you get the idea. 3 in the household and 5 different diets.
food is a constant struggle, food has become the most time-consuming thing you may ever think of, and please include grocery shopping too, really fun i'm telling you. you may want to try it for a week... just to see...
but this is nothing compared to the anniversary i would never have wanted to celebrate. it's been one year (october 27, 2010) now that we got the diagnosis.
for each of us there is the life before and the life after.
however months of frustration teach to focus on what one can have instead of what they can't, and the daily food maize is nothing compared the constant worry i have for her future.
will there be complications ? will her kidneys, her eyes, her heart ... be safe ? how will the pump work when there will be some scar tissues over the years ? will she be able to get over it psychologically and enjoy life with it ? will she live some decent senior years ? will there be senior years ?
these are the questions that never cross your mind, fortunately, when your children are healthy, when your family is safe. i would like to be able to put them aside, in a corner of my mind, i sometimes do but they always crawl back...
pumping was thankfully a big relief for her. as a mom, though, to see the life of your only child tied to a little machine, everyday, is a whole different feeling that has to make its way until you manage to accept there won't be any miracle anyway.
to end this first year i granted myself with a (free) membership to TuDiabetes which you can see in the sidebar. it never hurts to share with people who are in your shoes !

last year, on halloween, we got her out of the hospital -- and a very humorous L. still wanted to improvise a last minute costume, after all the needles that hurt her & all the check-ups she had in a couple of days

... and this year you will celebrate halloween with your friends, just as any other child would do. you will have to count the carbs, but you will enjoy your day. things can't always be bad, there's often a rainbow after the rain.

thank you to everyone who sent us some support last year, thank you lecia & elizabeth for the wonderful packages that we will never forget, thank you mary for the incredible kindness & sharing, you & your daughters are always in my thoughts.